First published by Mai FM
One of the wildest things about heartbreak is that it's pretty much a universal experience.
Whether it's rejection from a schoolyard crush or something more serious, most people will have to deal with those difficult feelings at some point.
The upshot of this is that there's a lot of good advice floating around, and plenty of stories of people healing and going to live their best lives!
The Mai Home Run asked their listener whānau to chime in with the best bit of breakup advice they ever got, and there is some GOLD in here.
Samantha
Who gave you the advice? My mum, she was super supportive and helped me realise I was worth more than how the other person saw me.
What was the advice? "You have one month to cry, eat junk food and feel sorry for yourself, then you move on and start to heal by putting your focus on something else, like exercise or work."
Lara
Who gave you the advice? My best friend. She opened her home to my son and I when we had no whānau close to us. She let me vent and cry and let it all out then we would eat yummy kai together. She played with my son and would always check in with us. She is the best person in the world.
What was the advice? "Time will heal. It can be so acutely painful at first, your body and mind feel so broken. But those wounds slowly heal. It is important to keep your goals in sight and make plans to work towards them.
Wrap yourself in a korowai of friends and whānau.
Know that this is all just temporary and that you are so strong and resilient."
Alice
Who gave you the advice? My brother. He gave me so much advice and always assured me that I was going to be okay. He would buy me food, and we would go to the gym for a workout to get things out of my mind.
What was the advice? "Give yourself some space, Do not use alcohol or other drugs to deal with the pain as those are temporary fix. Get up, distract yourself, take care of your mind, body and soul. One day you’ll look back and know that you can get through anything."
Jodie
Who gave you the advice? My best friend. She was a constant, always checking in, texts and calls, she listened, she was honest with her advice, she got me out and about with mutual friends and she kept the positive vibes going.
What was the advice?
Rejection is protection.
"If you get turned down by someone, that means they weren’t meant for you and the universe is redirecting you."
Bekah
Who gave you the advice? My mum. She was the greatest. I couldn’t eat, barely slept, I was throwing up from anxiety but she drove across the country (5 hours) to stay with me and get me through the first week. It was such a hard time for me mentally and I couldn’t have done it without her.
What was the advice?
That person is only one part of your life.
Also, the first time I went through a breakup, my dad got me to calculate how much of my life I had been with him - it was something so small like 2%. That showed me that I spent so much time without him, and I’d be fine.
Kristy
Who gave you the advice? My best friend. She was always there when I had my ups and downs in that relationship and would come over to have a drink with me and always have lit nights to forget about it or even sometimes just bring over snacks and watch a movie. I will always cherish her for always being there.
What was the advice? “Better you find out now rather than later. Now take the time to spend on yourself."